Running From Empty (Men of the Vault Book 3) Page 5

  Fucking Rod for the first time is a memory I’ve jacked off to hundreds of times over the years. But now that I’m surrounded by his scent and naked in his sheets with him just a few yards away from me on the other side of a wall, my release comes quickly. My right hand strokes my cock faster and faster while my left hand uses my boxers to catch my come. I shoot a heavy load, remembering how good it felt to be inside Rod’s tight ass and imagining what it would feel like to be inside him now that he’s made of solid muscle.

  “Ungggh.” I groan loudly before catching myself, remembering where I am. After all my high-and-mighty judgment, getting caught masturbating in Rod’s bed would be the ultimate embarrassment.

  But I have to admit, not seeing a ring on his finger or any photos in his apartment of a significant other has my heart expanding with hope in the ways that it definitely shouldn’t.

  The smell of fresh coffee gets me up before my body is fully awake. I could sleep for a few more hours, but I didn’t come here for a vacation. I’m here to talk Ian into coming home with me before he does something he regrets. I take a quick shower and get dressed for the day. If all goes well, Ian and I could be on the road before 10:00 AM. If that’s the case, I might not have to take the day off from work tomorrow.

  When I open the bedroom door, I see that Ian and Rod are already awake. They’re both in the kitchen, laughing about the shape of Rod’s pancakes while Ian drops chopped fruit into a juicer.

  “Good morning,” I say quietly, feeling slightly guilty for interrupting their happy moment and more guilty for being envious of it.

  Ian looks up at me with the first genuine smile I’ve seen on him in over a year. “Morning, Dad. Tanner’s trying to make pancakes, but they look like crime scene silhouettes or something.” He laughs and points to an oddly shaped pancake on the griddle. “Actually, this one looks like a bunny.”

  “If you’re such a pancake expert…” Rod hip-checks Ian to shove him away from his griddle. “You can be in charge of these, and I’ll do the difficult job at dropping apples and carrots into the juicer.”

  “Not a chance.” Ian wraps his arms around the juicer protectively as if someone is trying to take it from him. “I called dibs on Mr. Juicer. There’s something satisfying about watching every drop of juice get squeezed out of these babies.”

  My eyes immediately find Rod’s.

  He’s staring at me with a smirk, obviously catching the double meaning of Ian’s words even though my son doesn’t seem to realize what he’s just said. “Yeah, there’s definitely satisfaction from getting it all out.”

  My dick twitches, already starting to lengthen, and I have to subtly shift it as I walk toward them. As quickly as I can, I slip onto a barstool where they can’t see my body’s treasonous reaction. I wonder if Rod feels the same attraction that seems to be haunting me from so many years ago. If he does, I’ll never know because his lower half is hidden behind the stove.

  Rod hands me an empty plate and scoots a stack of pancakes toward me. “Help yourself. They may not look pretty, but they should taste pretty good.” He tilts his head toward Ian. “And Chef Ian should have some freshly squeezed juice ready in a few minutes.”

  Ian reaches for an empty glass and swaps it with the one underneath the juicer. “Here, try this.”

  I accept the purple concoction and take a sip. “It’s good. What is it?

  Ian gestures toward a huge pile of fruit and vegetable clippings on the counter. “Practically everything. Except I nixed the ginger. You know how I hate ginger.”

  I wink at my son and take another drink. “Good call. It’s delicious.”

  A few minutes later, Ian fills his plate and sits on the stool beside me while Rod stands across from us with the plate of his own in his hand.

  We eat in silence for a few minutes, but I need to begin the conversation I don’t want to have. If Ian is going to take some convincing to leave, I need to get started on my pitch sooner rather than later. After wiping my mouth with my napkin, I turn on the stool and face my son. “If you’ve done everything you want to do, I’d like to get back on the road in the next hour or two. Is that okay?”

  Ian freezes in place then glances up at Rod. Their eyes are locked on each other as if they’re having a silent conversation. Ian and I used to do that. Hell, Rod and I used to do that.

  After an awkward moment of silence, Ian sets his fork on his plate then turns to me. “I’m not mad at you anymore, Dad. But I want to stay here.”

  My heart drops as my worst fear comes true. “So that’s it? You have a new dad now, so you don’t need me anymore?”

  Rod clears his throat and takes a step back. “I’m gonna take a quick shower. I’ll give you guys some time to talk.”

  Ian swivels on his stool so he’s facing me too, our knees just inches apart. “You know it’s not like that, Dad. You’ll always be my dad, even when you don’t want to be.” He smirks to let me know he’s teasing. “But I need to get to know Tanner too. He glances toward the bedroom then waggles his eyebrows. “Maybe you should stay for a while too. Seems like there might be some unresolved feelings between you guys…”

  I shake my head. “He owns a brothel. He’s like a male madam — a monsieur? Whatever the hell they call him, it’s disgusting. He probably sleeps with prostitutes, Ian. Hell, maybe he was one for a while… He seems like a good guy, and it’s not that I don’t trust him to take care of you, but this isn’t the kind of environment I want you to live in. Please come home with me. I promise you can visit Rod–”

  “Tanner,” Ian interrupts. “He like to be called Tanner.”

  “Fine, Tanner. You can visit Tanner anytime you want, and he’ll always be welcome to visit us in Denver, but I don’t want you living here with him. I want so much more for you.”

  “I was joking about working at The Vault, Dad. He already said he’d never hire me, so you don’t have to worry about that. But he also said he’d help me get a job and pay for me to go to school if I want to.”

  “I’ll pay for you to go to school, Ian. You know that. I’ve always said I’d support you in whatever education you wanted to pursue. That will never change.”

  “What if I want to go to UNLV? Will you support me then?”

  I close my eyes and throw my head back, knowing there isn’t a way for me to win this battle. “Yes, I will. But it’ll break my heart.”

  Ian stands up and crosses his arms over his chest. “That’s not fair. You said I could go anywhere I wanted in the world, and now that I’m choosing Las Vegas, which is only a few hundred miles away from home, I’m breaking your heart? Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Language, young man. You never talked to me like that at home, but you’re here for one week and already swearing up a storm. Tell me that doesn’t have anything to do with Tanner’s influence.”

  Ian cocks his head like he can’t believe what I’m saying. “It has nothing to do with Tanner’s influence. I’m an adult now, Dad. I love you and I forgive you for keeping the secrets that you felt you needed to keep from me, but I’m all grown up and I’m going to live where I want to live and speak the way I want to speak and go to school where I want to go to school.”

  12

  Tanner

  As soon as I hear Ian’s door slam, I know things didn’t go as well as we’d hoped. Dressed in joggers and a t-shirt, I step out into the living room to see what I can do. Landon is sitting on the couch with his palms cupping his head and his fingers digging into his scalp.

  “Can I sit down?”

  Landon sighs heavily then turns to face me. “It’s your house. Do whatever you want.”

  Okay, so he still hates me. “Look, I know you don’t approve of me. I get it. If I were you, I wouldn’t want my kid hanging around someone like me either.”

  Landon’s shoulders lower and he relaxes against the back cushion, waiting for me to continue.

  “But Ian has gone through a lot in the past few years, and this is something he
needs right now. I’ll be honest, I never expected to find out I had a kid. But now that I know, I want to be a part of his life too.”

  Landon opens his mouth to speak, but I hold up my hand to stop him.

  “Just hear me out, please. I’m not trying to replace you, but I want to be there for him.” I carefully weigh my next move before reaching for Landon’s knee, and giving him a squeeze. “I can be there for you too.”

  Tears erupt from Landon’s eyes as he shakes his head frantically. “Why did you leave? I loved you so fucking much, and you left me. I kept waiting for you to come back for me. I thought you just needed some time to figure things out.” He wipes at his cheeks, obviously pissed at his show of weakness. “Even when your eighteenth birthday came and went and then your twenty-first birthday, I still held out hope that you would come back for me.” He rubs his fists into his eyes and wipes away the moisture. “Why didn’t you ever come back?”

  Reaching for both of his hands, I give in to my need to touch him. I pull them up to my chest and hold them there, grateful to have him near me one more time. “I wasn’t the same kid you fell in love with.” I shake my head as a tear streaks down my cheek. “This is who I am now. I couldn’t go back and tell you what I’d been doing to survive. I never wanted to see the kind of disgust and disappointment in your eyes that I saw last night. I knew you’d hate me, and I just couldn’t bear that kind of pain.” I release his hands and wrap both my arms over my stomach, rocking forward a bit. “So, I chose to deal with a different kind of pain. Loneliness.”

  “Come on, man. Don’t feed me that bullshit. You are surrounded by gorgeous prostitutes every day. Don’t tell me how lonely you’ve been.”

  I close my eyes and give him the most honest answer I can come up with. “My whole life revolves around people finding intimacy and closeness with others. Sometimes it leads to love, usually it doesn’t. But it always means the same thing. Pleasure and companionship. The kind of pleasure I haven’t really had since the day I left town.”

  Landon laughs out loud. “Right. Like you’re not using your parade of men to satisfy your own needs. Do you realize how dangerous that is? You probably have more diseases than I can count.”

  My breath catches as if he’s slapped me, but I know he’s just angry. “You can believe what you want about me, Landon. But I mean it when I say you were the one.”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t believe you. If I was, you wouldn’t have left. Because when you love someone, you want to be with them. That’s why I’m here for Ian. He’s just a kid, he doesn’t know how to survive in a town like Vegas. It’s fine that you want to be in his life, but not here. He needs to come home with me.”

  I clasp my hands together and consider my words carefully. “Ian is welcome to stay for as long as he wants. If it makes you feel better, you’re welcome to stay too. But I will never ask him to leave.” I turn and look Landon in the eye. “My parents did that to me, and it was the biggest regret of my life. I’ll never do that to our son.”

  Landon’s eyes soften, and the fight leaves his posture when he hears me refer to Ian as our son. I know it’s presumptuous, but that is our new reality. Ian is both of ours, though in different ways. And even though he’s technically an adult, I will be there for him however he needs me—as a parent, a confidant, or a friend.

  I sit there for another moment to let my words sink in before standing up to give Landon some space. Before I get more than a few feet away, he speaks up. “Okay.”

  I stop and wait for him to elaborate.

  “It’s Ian’s choice to stay, but you have to swear to me that you’ll keep him away from any kind of deviant businesses you run.”

  I should be offended, but I’m not. I respect his concern for his son.

  “I promise.” I give Landon a small smile. “Um, Ian said he’s good with computers, and I have a friend who owns a cyber security company. He hires students for internships. I mentioned it to Ian and he might be interested in something like that. It’s a good field that has a lot of income potential. Are you comfortable with that?”

  Landon seems surprised that I’m asking for his permission. “Yeah, actually that sounds perfect for him. Cyber security is one of the leading growth industries, and if you could help him get an in with a company while he goes to school, that would be great.”

  I slip my hands into my pockets and smile at the man who still makes my stomach flutter with just a look. “Okay, then. I’ll see what I can do. And I’m sure Ian would be happy to hear that from you.”

  Landon agrees to stay a few days so he and Ian can do the tourist thing. I give them the keys to my car and a list of some of my favorite places to visit, then I head into The Vault for a few hours.

  Of course, Asher and Johnny have everything under control, so after a quick check in with the boys, I head back to town to meet Landon and Ian for dinner.

  Ian loves sushi, so I am taking them to Mizumi at Wynn. It’s one of my favorite Japanese restaurants, and the maître d is both a client and a friend.

  Landon and Ian are in the lobby when I arrive, and we walk into the restaurant together.

  “Tanner!” Kazu gives me a big hug then bows to Landon and Ian. “Welcome, my friend. I have my best table ready for my favorite guest.”

  “Thank you, Kazu. This is perfect.”

  Ian is beaming at the personalized treatment, but Landon has a more serious expression on his face. I can tell he suspects Kazu knows me in a more intimate way than just from this restaurant. Landon was always very perceptive of the people around him. Apparently, that hasn’t changed.

  We take a couple minutes to review the menu then place a large order with various types of sushi. I want Ian and Landon to experience all the great things Vegas has to offer since they’ve both been tainted by its seedier side already.

  While we eat, Ian tells me about his day walking through the casinos and tasting all the delicious treats they came across. But his favorite part was visiting a batting cage right on the Strip. I smile to myself when I realize they visited Damon’s place, but I don’t point out the connection. I don’t want to ruin Landon’s memory of their time together by associating it with my friends from The Vault.

  By the time we finish our meal, Landon and I both have a decent Sake buzz, and Ian looks ready to burst. He sampled every roll that was put in front of him, and then some. I forgot how much a teenage boy can eat, but I’m happy to see the joy on his face. It’s the first time I get a glimpse of what my life could have been like if I’d settled down and started a family.

  Right as we stand to leave, Ian’s phone dings with a text message. He glances at the screen and his eyes light up. “It’s those kids from the yogurt shop,” he says to Landon as he opens up the message.

  “Cool,” Landon says, handing me the keys to my car. “What do they want?”

  “They are having a movie night tonight and want me to come.” He looks at Landon and then at me. “Is that okay?”

  I don’t know how to respond to that. I look at Landon, letting him take the lead on this. I’ve never actually parented before and this doesn’t seem like the moment for me to start.

  “Where is it going to be?”

  Ian sends a message back and we wait for a response. It comes almost instantly. “On campus,” he says. “Three of them share an apartment.” He looks at Landon with big puppy dog eyes. “It would be a nice way for me to check out the campus.”

  Landon looks back at me, actually seeming interested in my opinion.

  I shrug. “The campus is generally safe. We can drop him off and pick him up in a few hours. Or he can Uber back.”

  Landon blows out a slow breath. “Yeah, I guess that’s fine. Your phone is fully charged?”

  Ian glances at the battery icon on his phone. “92%. I should be good for the night.”

  Landon leans close to me and whispers in my ear, “This is his first test. If anything happens, it’s on you.”

  I nod once and fol
low as they walk towards the exit.

  Tonight will be a first test for all of us.

  13

  Landon

  Being alone in Tanner’s apartment is awkward at first. He grabs a couple beers from the fridge and we turn on the TV, trying to make small talk. But with alcohol flowing in our veins, the tension between us is even more palpable.

  I don’t know what comes over me, but without much conscious thought, I blurt out the words I’ve wanted to say all day. “You were the one for me too.”

  Tanner seems to be holding his breath as he slowly turns toward me. “What do you mean?”

  “What you said last night… It’s true for me too. You were it for me. I’ve had other relationships, and I truly did love Melissa…but not like with you. No matter who I was with, I never got over you. Fuck, I never wanted to get over you.” A strangled laugh escapes my throat as I stare into Tanner’s eyes. “I still don’t.”

  Tanner doesn’t hesitate as he leans forward and brushes his lips over mine. I accept his kiss and open up for him to go deeper. His tongue meets mine, and it’s like we’re kids again, hiding behind the gym after a high school dance.

  After the initial shock wears off, I wrap my arm around Tanner’s waist and twist our bodies so we’re lying flat on the couch. The weight of his body against mine feels better than I remember any man ever feeling. He’s hard all over and the steel cock poking against mine is driving me insane.

  Our kisses intensify as we explore each other with lips and tongues and hands. My fingers slide beneath his belt and then my whole hand slips over his perfect ass. He gasps, grinding even harder against me. In one fluid motion, he stands up, bringing me to my feet then directing me toward his bedroom.

  We barely make it to his bed before Tanner is yanking my shirt up over my head and then pulling off his. His mouth crashes back onto mine as he releases the button of my jeans. Within seconds, we’re both stepping out of our pants—naked together for the first time in over eighteen years.