Running From Empty (Men of the Vault Book 3) Page 6

  The reverence in Tanner’s eyes is undeniable. He looks at me now the same way he did back then.

  With pure lust and desire.

  I feel like I’m ten feet tall and bulletproof when he looks at me like that. Like I really am the only man he’s ever loved. I can’t let myself believe that’s true, but my dick believes it and wants to see if his inside feel as good as his outside. “I’ve fantasized about this moment so many times since you left.”

  “Me too…” Tanner slides down my chest, leaving a trail of kisses until his lips find my nipple. “I never believed it would happen.”

  I chuckle softly. “I still don’t believe it’s happening. It feels too good to be true.”

  “It’s true, Lan.” He nibbles my nipple then drags his tongue lower until he meets the patch of hair leading to my cock. “And you feel better than I’ve ever dreamed.”

  Tanner’s tongue slides through my hair and to the tip of my cock. The anticipation of what’s about to happen has every muscle in my body tight like a wire. I know what’s coming, but it’s still so unbelievable that I’m not sure where to focus my attention. Everything feels floaty and surreal.

  When Tanner places a soft kiss on my heated skin, I twitch beneath him. And when his lips close over the head and suck me into his mouth, I practically jump off the bed. “God, yes, Tanner.”

  He stops moving and pulls off me. “Don’t call me that.”

  “What?” I can barely focus on what he’s saying, but the fierceness in his eyes means I need to try. “I thought you preferred Tanner.”

  “Not from you. You don’t call me that.”

  I nod and run my fingers through his hair. “Okay. Sorry, Rod.”

  Rod bends over and sucks my entire cock into his mouth, swallowing the tip so it’s nestled securely in his tight, hot throat.

  “Fuck, that feels so good.”

  He moans his agreement while massaging my shaft with his strong throat muscles. After several long moments, he pulls out to the tip to catch his breath before sucking me back in again.

  “I’m close, Rod.”

  His eyes lock on mine as he moves faster up and down my length, coaxing my climax to the surface with just a glance. What he’s doing to my dick feels amazing, but what those eyes are doing to my heart is intoxicating. I grip his short hair in a fist and press as deep as he’ll taking me, unloading down his throat in fast, hot bursts.

  When I open my eyes after the strongest waves of sensation rock through me, Rod is still staring at me with more love than I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes before. And if he looks close enough, he’ll see that same love reflected back in mine.

  Rod gently releases my softening cock and kisses his way back up my body. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

  I wrap my arms around him and roll us over so I’m on top of him. “I do, because I’ve been waiting just as long.”

  My mouth closes over his, nipping his lower lip and pulling away in slow, lazy kisses. His cock is still thick and leaking, but I don’t want to rush this moment. If it’s the only time I ever get with Rod, I want to make the most of it. I want it to last all night.

  After a few moments of soft kisses, our lips and tongue become more frantic, desperately trying to get deeper and closer to each other. I casually brush my thumb over the head of Rod’s pulsing cock and he groans out loud. “God, I want you so bad.”

  No words have ever sounded sweeter. “I’m right here, baby.”

  Rod squeezes his eyes shut and inhales slowly before looking at me again. “Will you make love to me, Lan? Like this. Like it should have been back then?”

  A lump in my throat clogs any words from escaping, so I rely on my body to give him an answer. My fingertips trail along his cock and my mouth dances with his. My thighs wrap around his, holding him in place like I never want to let him go.

  And I don’t.

  But that’s not what tonight is. Tonight is closure for what we should have done so long ago. Tonight is fulfillment of the promises we made when we were too naïve to know what was possible. Tonight is about completing the circle of our love without anyone else involved.

  Biting gently along the scruff of Rod’s jaw, I find his earlobe and suck it into my mouth. The velvety skin falls from my lips as I whisper in his ear, “Of course, Rod. Do you have—”

  “In the drawer.” He tilts his head toward his bedside table but stops my arm as soon as I reach for it. “But I want you to know I’m clean. I swear to god, I wouldn’t let you near me if I wasn’t.”

  My words to him from earlier in the day fill my mind, and I feel like an ass. “I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

  Rod smiles and raises an eyebrow. “Yes, you did. But that’s okay. I just want you to know that I’ve always been safe, and I get tested regularly.”

  I nod and reach for the drawer, wanting to pick up where we left off before my mind starts to spin. Thinking about why he needs to be tested regularly makes me a little nauseous, and I don’t want anything to interfere with this moment.

  Once I have what I need, I kiss Rod hard and slip my fingers down to his opening. He squirms when the cool lube touches him and holds his breath when I slide one finger inside him. “Has it been a while?” I ask, surprised by his reaction.

  He looks at me with more vulnerability than I ever thought I’d see from such a strong, powerful man. “You could say that.”

  “I’ll be gentle with you.” I slowly work the lube inside him before slipping in a second finger.

  “I know you will, Landon. You always were.”

  It doesn’t take more than a few minutes of careful ministrations before Rod is thrusting onto my hand, begging me for more. After sliding the condom to my rock-hard shaft, I sit up on my knees and spread Rod’s thighs as far apart as they’ll go. He’s absolutely perfect as his quivering hole waits for me to enter. “Are you ready for me, baby?”

  “So fucking ready, Landon.” He tilts even further toward me. “I need you now.”

  With slow movements, I aim my cock at his opening and push inside. His breathing is quick so I take my time, not wanting to hurt him.

  By the time I get half my dick buried in his hot channel, Rod is holding his thighs apart and using his muscles to pull me in deeper. “All of it. Now.”

  He and I want the same thing, so I thrust as far as I can, bottoming out with my balls resting snugly against his cheeks. “God, you’re so tight.”

  “And you’re so big.” Rod is panting again, but his dick is hard so I know he’s okay. “I’m good. Keep going.”

  With long and even strokes, I make love to Rod while kissing his mouth and whispering all the words I should have said so long ago.

  “I’ve missed you so much.” I pull out to the tip and kiss the corner of his mouth. “I never stopped thinking about you.” I thrust inside him, nailing his prostate and making him shiver beneath me. “I should have gone with you.” I pull out again, increasing my pace as my climax nears. “I never stopped loving you, Rod.”

  He shoots a hot, creamy load between our chests, squeezing my cock so tightly that I can’t hold off any longer either. With my dick shooting inside him and his releasing between us, we hold on to this connection that should have never been severed to begin with.

  14

  Ian

  The apartment is quiet when I walk in just after one in the morning, and Tanner isn’t lying on the couch. At first, I panic, wondering if they got into a fight and Dad left early, but then I see both sets of keys on the counter and half empty beer bottles on the coffee table. And that’s when I realize they must be together…in Tanner’s room.

  I wish I could say I’m surprised they went for it, but I’m not. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I think it’s a good thing.

  Dad has had a few boyfriends over the years, but nothing has evolved from those. And now it’s obvious why. He never got over Tanner. And based on the way Tanner stares at Dad, I’d sa
y the feeling is mutual. Without thinking too hard about what’s happening in Tanner’s room, I head straight to mine to get ready for bed.

  Tonight was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I have good friends back home that I hang out with, but they are usually plotting how to get access to edible marijuana or which chick they want to fuck, but college kids are a lot more mature than that. They talked about stuff going on in the news and about a community service project one of the campus clubs was planning. It was nice.

  Ruby and Chloe are really cool. Ruby was a little more flirty than Chloe, but once I told them I’m gay, they both backed off and tried to sic Hunter on me. He wouldn’t say if he’s gay or not, but based on the glances he shot my way, I’m guessing he is. He’s just not my type.

  There’s nothing wrong with him. Hunter’s cute in that nerdy kind of way that I find endearing and wicked smart. But I didn’t feel a love connection between us.

  And that was okay too.

  I haven’t laughed so hard in years, and they helped solidify my decision to apply to UNLV. It’s too late for me to get in for the fall session, which starts in just a few days, but if I make up a few credits at the community college, I might be able to get in as soon as winter. If not, there’s always next year.

  For the first time in a while, I’m excited about the future and the changes they’re going to bring to me.

  When I walk out of my bedroom the next morning, I’m expecting to see Dad and Tanner all sexed up and happy. What I find is the two of them looking somber with deep frowns like someone has just died. “Is everything okay?”

  Dad forces a smile and pats the sofa cushion beside him. “Yeah, everything’s good. Come tell us about your night.”

  Tanner is sitting in an armchair with a cup of coffee in his lap, but it doesn’t look like he’s had any of it.

  Cautiously, I sit down and give them the highlights of my night, quickly leading to the point that I really want to apply to college here, even though I’ll probably need to do some coursework at the community college first.

  Dad nods his head and smiles as I speak, but I can see the resignation in his eyes when he accepts I’m not going home with him.

  Dad reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “All right, kiddo. If that’s what you want, I’ll support you in every way I can. I can box up your summer clothes and ship them out here so you don’t have to buy a whole new wardrobe. And if there’s anything else you need, just let me know.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” I turn to Tanner, needing his approval too since I plan to live with him. “Is that okay with you? I promise not to get in your way.”

  His smile is genuine, though it doesn’t completely reach his eyes. “Of course it’s okay. I’m happy to have you.”

  The tension in the room hasn’t ebbed since I walked him, so I look Dad right in the eye and confront him. “What’s going on?”

  Dad swallows hard but doesn’t glance at Tanner for support. That’s my first sign that I’m not going to like what I hear. Dad takes a deep breath then slowly exhales before he’s able to explain to me how he’s feeling. “I’m sorry if this is awkward for you, but Rod and I said our goodbyes last night. I think I’m going to head out today so I can get home before dark.”

  “You’re leaving, already? I thought we had a few more days.”

  He finally turns to Tanner, and the pain in both of their eyes is evident. “We think it’s better this way. I have to get home to Denver, and you and Rod need to get settled here with school and looking for a job. Saying goodbye will just be harder if I stay too long.”

  Obviously, whatever happened between them is not what I was thinking because this is the last conversation I expected to have this morning. “Are you sure? Maybe you can stay longer?” Permanently…

  A tear escapes from Dad just as he leans forward and pulls me into a tight embrace. “I wish I could, bud. But we just have different lives right now,” he whispers in my ear then pulls back, cupping the side of my neck with his strong hand. “Besides, you need time to bond with Rod too. Something tells me he’s going to be the fun dad, so you might as well take advantage of that while you can.” He winks and then gives me another quick hug before standing up. “I’m just going to get my stuff together, and then you can walk me to my car.”

  As soon as Dad leaves the room, I turn to Tanner with my hands out. “What the hell? You guys acted like you were so in love with each other. Why is he leaving?”

  Tanner slouches down in the chair with his head back so he’s facing the ceiling. With a groan, his fists curl in his hair. “He wants to go back. That’s his home, and he’s not willing to leave it… At least not for me.”

  “What about for me? What happened to all that bullshit about loving me no matter what?”

  Tanner sits up straight with his elbows planted on the armrests. “He does love you… More than anything. Don’t ever think otherwise. But he knows that you need space to spread your wings. What kind of parent follows their kid to college?” He forces a sad smile. “He would only move if he had his own reason to. And he doesn’t. He didn’t then, and he doesn’t now.”

  “Did you even ask him to stay?” I ask quietly, suddenly feeling homesick now that my Dad is leaving so soon. Even though I’ve been a dick to him for the past few years, I still love him more than anyone in the world and liked the idea of him being close to me and Tanner.

  Tanner shakes his head and the pain etched onto his face is heartbreaking. “I asked him once, and he said no. I can’t live through that again.” Tanner clasps his hands together then stands up. “But don’t let this derail your plans. You have a lot of work to do if we’re going to get you into college.”

  He reaches for his laptop and hands it to me over the coffee table. “See what the application process looks like and what you’re deficient in. I might have some connections that can help speed the process along, but I’ll let you get things started. Just tell me where you need help.”

  “Yeah, I guess that’ll work.” I open up the laptop then glance at the closed door to Tanner’s bedroom. If this is the way these two guys have always communicated, I’m not surprised in the least that they’ve spent the past twenty years of their lives miserable.

  I just hope they can get their shit together before they do it again for the next twenty years.

  15

  Tanner

  Landon tried to walk out of my apartment with just a handshake, but I wasn’t having that bullshit. I pulled his hand forward until he stumbled against my chest then I held him in a bear hug for a full minute. Neither of us had anything more to say about our situation. It is what it is. But before I let him go, I whispered the only thing I could say to truly convey what I needed him to know. “Always you, Landon. Always you.”

  I turned toward my room without looking back. That was a month ago, and the wound is still as raw now as it was the morning he left.

  After making a few phone calls and pulling a few strings, I was able to help Ian get two part-time jobs. One is with Rainier as part of his cybersecurity internship, and the other is in the psychology department at the university. Not surprisingly, there were a handful of professors in my client database but only a few I would trust with my son.

  Chase Ryan is a man I’ve known for a long time. We play poker together a few times a year, and I’ve only heard good things from my guys when he’s visited The Vault. He doesn’t come often, and his requests are fairly tame, so I figured he was worth reaching out to. When I asked him if he had any opportunities that might be appropriate for my son before he applied to the college, Chase was open to meet with him.

  Of course, Ian got the job and is working on campus during the week. He also plans to start a couple online courses at the end of the month to prepare for UNLV. Because he’s busy all day, I’ve been spending more time back at The Vault. Being on a reduced schedule is tough but it’s important to me that I’m home for Ian as much as possible. I can usually leave by nine or ten every night aft
er the first round of clients arrive and get settled in, but it’s starting to feel less and less like my home away from home than it did a month ago.

  As much as I love the guys that work for me, my values are starting to shift. I truly believe I’m offering a safe and carefully-screened service to keep these guys healthy and well compensated, but it’s getting harder for me to look in the eyes of these young guys and not see my own son’s face. I’ve asked Asher to look into a way that we can get the guys enrolled in college courses either online or at the local campus as part of their compensation while working for me. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s a start.

  In just the short time I’ve spent with Ian, I’ve realized how important training and education is to young adults today. Having money doesn’t mean shit if they don’t know what to do with it. I learned the hard way, and I don’t want that for my son…or any of the guys who work for me.

  If I want to truly take care of them while they’re at The Vault, I need to teach them how to fish, not just give them a bag of fish at the end of their stay.

  And here come the nuggets of philosophical wisdom I seem to be having more and more often. Since Landon left, I keep trying to find ways to justify why we shouldn’t be together.

  We’re not the same kids that we were.

  We have different interests and hobbies.

  He loves small-town living, and I’ve come to love the city.

  I can make up a thousand reasons why I’m better off without him, and a million more reasons why he’s better off without me. But none of those matter when all I really want is for him to be in my arms.

  After signing a few checks and making some decisions about some work we’re doing to the basement, I stand up to collect my things for the night. I’m just about to close my laptop when Asher’s panicked voice startles me from the office intercom. “Tanner, quick. There’s a fire in the basement.”